"Anything could happen"

“Anything could happen, Pipiet.” That the first thing that across my mind when I facing problems. Whether it is bad or good result, I have to be prepared. This sentence used to be not quite popular to me. But past two years, I have been through many things then this sentence came up.

When I want something so badly and I think that maybe it would a bit difficult to get, so this sentence is reflecting my attitude towards for what I want. This sentence gives me both hope-possibility of succeed- and also possibility of failure. For the failure part, I give myself an understanding that maybe it not like what I imagine and I have to be prepared for the consequences, the bad ones. However, I always focus on the positive sides so I can move forward with confidence, then struggle until my last breath and tawakall at the same time.

Some events ended in unexpected result but I am quite happy with it, but some not. To deal with failure, in the past, it used to be very difficult. Nights that filled with regret and end up with laziness. But right now, I see that failure is as worth as success. Nothing is bad about failure. In fact, I learnt a lot from the process that I have passed to reach my goals.

“Anything could happen honey, keep moving forward, do not stop.”

"The Contagius Energy"

Most of my days are filled by a positive energy. I always get excited to do anything (except when I have a bad mood). When I make plans, I also think for the bad scenarios that might happen. But I always stick to the positive sides and never think too much about the bad things that maybe come along.

Recently, I feel a bit irritated by a friend of mine. She is one of my friends from the Junior High School. We are not quite close, but we discuss many things together and we have a lot of fun. But one things that make me irritated that most of her acts and saying were negatives. I feel like the negative energy of her suck me and it takes a lot of positive energy of mine. Well, maybe it is too much to say but it does happen. The negative energy is spreading and contagius!!! I used to cheer her up but it seems not working anymore. The negative energy of her is very strong. Everytime I give her support the negative energy bounce it back!! It becomes like a shield to her and I can not get through. She also do not want to take of the shield around her. I run out of idea to get her out of the energy surround her. And then bit by bit I constantly become more pesimistic and less smiling when I am around her and listen another excuse of her life. “I can not do this….I am not like you….I can not do that…. I just confused…..” I am sure you know what it is like when you hear those negative words again and again. Hufffffff……. It is so tiring inside when good energy being taken away from you….

We tend to choose something that makes us happy and this thing is make me unhappy. So I decide to take further step from her. We not meet as much as yesterdays. Usually, I always take her with me to hang out together, eating out together or just window shopping or visited a new place together. But lately, I did it by myself. It better than I have to lost half of my positive energy. I do my best to help her out from the negative shield, but every human has it own point when she/he can not take it no more. But I do hope, someday she will be able to get out from the circle.

“Fighting!!!”

“Fighting!” It is a word that I feel a strong connection when I am about to do something. This word can give me a powerful confidence that I can do eveything. I discover this word from a Korean drama “Full House” played by my fave Korean singer Rain and a beautiful actress Song Hye Kyo.

I followed a NLP (Neuro Lingustic Program) training last month where the training is about to motivate ourself to reach success and happiness. I tend to use “Fighting!!” than “Saya bisa” (I can do it!!) before I walk on the fire – as one of the test-. The fighting spirit in that word is really reflects me as a person. Even the trainer said to me that I had a magic word for myself. I suppose that is true. Heheheh….

Why the word is a powerful one? I connected the the word with the story of Full House. The girl main character Han Ji Eun is not a very smart girl and she is an orphan. She live alone in her house without any of her relatives. She is clumsy and bad novel writer. But, she keep fight and keen to learn to be a good novel writers. And everytime she got trouble, she keep being herself to face it. She never hide herself and never ashamed about herself. She behaves naturally as a girl too, strong but weak at the same time. When she has to cry then she cry, when she want to hit someone then she hit him. She keeps herself to act funny and positive. She chooses to fight in her own way. “Fighting” is her quote when she feeling down. I do really like it. I always think that I am not as good as everybody in this world, but I do deserve a chance too like others. I know I am not smart enough, but I do feel that I deserve good chances in front of me. So…..”Pipiet…!!!! Fighting!!!!!”

10 May 2008

“Let’s Dance!!”

The idea of back to dance again came up when I had nothing to do to exercise my body. I used to have Wushu but I quit for some reason. I was thinking to have a certain exercise which makes me feel fit and healthy. So I joined an gym club and I choose Taebo program. At the first class, the music was so loud and the moves were so strange. I presumed the moves weren’t taebo at all! That was a big deception for me!! In short word, I did not enjoy the class at all. I decided to quit the class and search for other alternatives. Dancing was one a brilliant idea that I discovered. So, I search information as many as possible. I want to learn many dances, especially the traditional ones.

I know and realize that dance is one of my passions. I was connected with this matter when I was I child in many ways. I not remember exactly how I get connected but I have a huge interest on them. I always amazed by ballet dance when I was kid, I even get a bit obsessed (until today). But since I grew in a small town there were no ballet class, so I learnt them from a japanese manga “Mari-chan”. I took just the basic moves from its pictures. What I amazed about it, when I was kid, I never saw a real ballet dance/ballet performance but I was so sure that ballet was a beautiful kind of dance and I adore it very much. I think I saw once in television but I was not quite sure about that either.

When I was around first years in elementary school, I remember one of my aunt always asked me to have a modern dance together with a modern music. We dance like crazy!!! We did it almost eveyday, after I got home from school. No wonder, I never had difficulties when in junior high school finishing dance assignments, especially the modern ones. I get along with them easily heheheh…. . It just like I have been doing that for years.

Traditional dance is also one of my favorite. In Muntilan when I was in elementary school we used to have dance lesson. But as I remembered, the class was too full and the dance was never finish (I am not even remember what the dance look like). Last time I learned traditional dance seriously when I was in 12 years old, first time when I moved to Malang city. I had a dance lesson at Senaputra. At that time, I was not very confidence and still innocent, so I was not quite like it. But after 12 years, I learn it again through Beskalan dance and it is more interesting and I want learn more traditional dances!!! Recently, I learned traditional dance again after 12 years. I join the Senaputra again, but this time with Kindergarten teachers!!! This time, I learn 3 kind of dances-traditional ones, kancil, topi dance (modern style)-. So much fun, meet new people that I have never really contact with. So, let’s dance now!!!

9 May 2008

“Come And Go”

It is an usual things in my family to go out of city as easy as going to nearest shop nearby my house. It is not a huge problem (anymore) especially for the children. You will find that sometimes within a week different several family members out of city and will come back few days. You can find that this week my mother go to Jakarta, while my father go to Manado and then at the time my Mother back to Jakarta, I go to Surabaya and then 3 days later my brother go to somewhere else for couple days.

Sometimes people wondering it is so easy left the house for something in my family. Like there is no further consideration. We just prepare all we need and then plan something, and go. For us, it is about the important things to do, you just go and finish it. That’s easy.

In our family, there is unsaid rule that, you can go anywhere you want and for anykind of reason as long the purpose is clear and you do not put yourself in danger. So far there are no serious problems happen on the travelling thing among my family (I hope not in the future). The unsaid rules for me in the past were quite tight. My mother always worried when I was travel by myself, especially using public transportation. She always had a driver and a car for me to drive me to the city I want to visit. Right now, not that tight anymore. I insisted and went several times by myself using public transportation. I prove to them that I am capable to do that and they trust me.

Me, myself really enjoy travel, especially using public transportation (the economic ones). Sometimes it is not pleasant but I enjoy it and I always amazed by everything I see and people I meet. The view, the food, the situation, the culture, even the strange chat with stranger in the bus. By taking the economic ones, I can save my money and at the same time can give an opportunity to myself to thank God. But everytime I travel by myself, my mother and my father always advice me not to take anything from strangers. “It is dangerous!” they said. “Keep caution too, Pipiet!!!”

21 April 2008

“People Life”

People life is always interest me. Some of powerful people in the world, put their word in books. Their experiences enrich mine. That is why I love to read them. Biography is one of my favorite book subjects. Women lives attract me more, because I am a woman.

Anne Frank Diaries and Kartini biography are some of my favorite books. Their life as a young women that die in a very young age give a perspectives about life. As young women their life were very inspiring. Anne Frank in a very young age, she could put her horrible experiences thoughts wise words. In these words, we can learn to appreciate life. Life is so short, we have to do something right. While Kartini, a heroine from Jepara Indonesia, was a powerful, modern and smart woman that came from a strong Javanese culture. I always fascinated about her breakthough and brilliant ideas about a nation and women, her talents, ideas and all of her struggle to reach her dreams.

As a Moslem, I have interest in woman lives too according to my religion perspectives. Khadijah is one of them. Khadijah is the first life of Prophet Muhammad SAW. She had everything –smart, rich, progressive mind- and she also had golden heart. She owned noble women values in Islam. It is so fascinating that she can work equally with men and respected by them.

I have to say that I also amazed by Madonna. Madonna for me is a live story about continous and creative hard works. She in not even young right now, but she keep gives her best in every appearences. Her performances alywas new and refreshing. Through her works, as if she said to the world that nothing can stopped me. I want to be like that, give all I can do until the last breath. Humm..what a life!!!!

...16 April 2008

“Our Choices”

Many people thinks they are not satisfy with their life. They feel like if something that not suit to them, or if they not fulfilling something in their life, they will be less happy. They will be happier, if all what they need are there.

But let see, not every people get what they really want. There are many factors why they did not get what they are really wants. But you know, it’s not about that at all. Mostly it happens when we see other people who live around us, or people that we consider ‘more’ than us. For example, we see a life of a friend that we consider he/she happier because of something and than we assume and we tell to ourself that if that also happen to us, it would be a great life for us.

But let’s face it, every people find happines in many different way. Some of them find life and happines in unique and strange way, some find in money, some find in the way they communicate with people, some find when they feel free when they doing what they like. There are plenty way to find that. Instead of see and focus on what people have we don’t we FOCUS ON OURSELF? It’s a choice, whether us what to do that or not, or we just want to stay to focus on what people have.

Let me through, I have to say it’s my weakness, as an ordinary person. I have to say as human, those feeling are so strong. And then what happen is me as human who don’t have life that I want because I see other standard start to make life difficult for ourself. That’s so typical me. And it’s so immature. As a human also, process of learning is always in our life until we die. All those experience, through all our life, always be thankful and what we have and to see the potential of ourself. Just believe we good at something, and try hard to find it. It’s more than enough to make ourself happy.

This thougt came o me on 17 May 2007